I highly recommend this book. If there’s ever a self-help book that has actually helped me, this one would rank in the top 10 for me, and I’ve gone through dozens of self-help things throughout the years in hopes of something sticking to better myself, and this book definitely helped me.

The book is divided into four parts after the introduction:

The Rise of Stoicism: This section is divided mainly into three parts. The first talks about different life philosophies. The second on the first Stoics. The third talks about Roman Stoicism, which is the main type of Stoicism talked about in the book.

Stoic Psychological Techniques: This section is divided into five chapters that talk about different psychological techniques that the Stoics used.

Stoic Advice: This section has a lot of examples on how the Stoics used their advice in their daily living.

Stoicism for Modern Life: This section is on utilizing Stoicism for today’s usage.

What I got most out of it the most are the two concepts found in chapter five:

The Dichotomy of Control – (1) Things over which we have complete control; (2) Things over which we don’t have complete control.

The Trichotomy of Control – (1) Things over which we have complete control; (2) Things over which we have no control at all, or (3) Things over which we have some but not complete control.

This has been helpful in helping me accept things in my life easier. There are things that I can completely control, have some control, and have no control. I want to control things that I can’t, and it gives me negative feelings. Realizing that letting go of what I can’t control will help me much more than stressing out trying to control something I can’t.

I also liked chapter eleven: Insults: On Putting Up with Put-Downs. I used to get a lot of put downs for my views, even if I’m right, people have treated me like I was always wrong because of their preconceived notions of thinking that because I was younger than them, I obviously knew less than them. I don’t really deal with that anymore as I cut those people out of my life when it became clear that they were just trolling me in the end, but when I do, it’s good to keep in mind that:

“When insulted, people typically become angry. Because anger is a negative emotion that can upset our tranquility, the Stoics thought it worthwhile to develop strategies to prevent insults from angering us – strategies for removing, as it were, the sting of an insult. One of their sting-elimination strategies is to pause, when insulted, to consider whether what the insulter said is true. If it is, there is little reason to be upset.”

When it really comes down to it, remember to try to calm down, pause, and think whether what the insulter said was true, and react accordingly. If what the insulter said is true, a good example to me of Stoicism to deal with it would be a quote from Tyrion Lannister from Game of Thrones: “Let me give you some advice, bastard. Never forget what you are, the rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor and it can never be used to hurt you.” Laugh the insult off or don’t respond if it’s true, but if it’s not true, there’s no reason to get upset.

It’s hard keeping to a Stoic lifestyle at times for me with my chronic pain and mental illnesses, but when I remember some Stoic concepts such as letting go what’s beyond my control, it brings calm into my life due to my want to control things. Letting go and going with the flow is sometimes the best choice and only choice you can make on things that you simply cant control. Stoicism tends to get a bad rep, but I think giving this book a chance is in a lot of people’s best self-interest and for understanding Stoicism more. The writing style is done is a way that is easy to digest and filled with valuable insight.