My health has been on a downhill especially since 2022. It’s been making it hard to do things for my blog, but I am trying. I think talking about these issues on my blog is something that I’d like to start doing so people can get to know me a bit more.

Chronic pain is awful. I’ve been dealing with it for almost 20 years. ADHD can be awful too, especially when it negatively affects my life. It’s a struggle dealing with both conditions on the daily basis. While I am insufficiently medicated for my chronic pain as my meds typically aren’t enough to get me through the day without me in severe pain, though I also sometimes receive some medical interventions like injections and physical therapy, I’m doing talk therapy in hopes of doing something for my mental health issues and to vent about my chronic pain. It’s not always successful, but sometimes it works. I have a wonderful therapist. If not for her, I think I’d have lost my marbles a long time ago.

Chronic pain can cause a fogginess to spread through the mind. It makes it easier to lose focus and not be able to concentrate on anything other than the pain sometimes. It’s partly why I sometimes love my ADHD; I’m able to distract myself when the pain isn’t so bad and not direct my attention away from the games I’m playing or something that I’m reading or just a reel on Instagram that has caught my attention. I stay away from TikTok though. In any case, my hyperfocus can sometimes kick in, and I’m unable to switch my attention away from whatever I’m able to focus on. However, it can be a double-edged sword as my attention is so focused elsewhere that if I need to do something to take care of myself, I don’t do it until the hyperfocus goes away.

It’s tough living with these conditions. I wish chronic pain and ADHD was all I had. There’s also the depression and anxiety of daily living, as I’m homebound due to my chronic pain. Sitting in chairs for too long hurts. Standing for longer than fifteen minutes tends to cause immense pain in my low back. Crocheting has hurt my upper back much less my shoulders, fingers and wrists from the repetitive motions that I need to do for it. I have gastrointestinal issues – pancreatic rest (which is an ectopic pancreas in my stomach) and acid reflux. Luckily, my pancreatic rest is giving me a rest. When it’s symptomatic, I can’t eat much, which is unfortunate because I love food. Food is wonderful. Food is great. And when you’re unable to eat despite how much you mentally want to, it can suck. But I need to listen to my body so as to not go too crazy about overeating or undereating. It’s wonderful to be able to eat, and I’m always happy when my stomach isn’t giving me issues and I can enjoy the fantastic food around me!

Essentially, the goal is to be healthy. The goal is to overcome these medical challenges. Even though they’ll be with me for the rest of my life, it’s good to learn how to cope with that knowledge. I was only a child when my medical issues truly started, and almost twenty years later, I’m still dealing with similar issues. Only this time, it’s going to get worse as I age because the human body simply slowly (or fast) breaks down as one gets older. By the time I’m an old lady, I’ll probably be pissed about all the medical issues I have to go through, and that’s ok! The point is to not let it deter me from doing my best to be healthy even with all my issues.

I’ve learned to be patient from all the time I spent waiting at the doctors for my appointment. Even though I want to be impatient, it was an accidental lesson that has helped me to do my best to slowly develop skills to not be so overwhelmed with my chronic pain and mental health issues.

Other coping strategies is to know when to walk away and take a moment to myself in order to collect myself. My rejection sensitivity can sometimes make me think that I’m being scolded when all my loved ones want to do is help me avoid making further mistakes. It’s hard trying to overwrite my brain’s tendency to take things wrong due to my sensitivity, but it can be possible! Easier said than done though. Talk therapy has been incredible in helping me identify when someone is actually trying to help me vs someone being rude and simply commenting about my mistakes to shame me.

Setting up alarms has also helped me a lot, especially when remembering a doctor’s appointment. I make sure to set up my appointments on my phone’s calendar when scheduling the appointments so it’s a lot less likely I’ll forget about my appointment as I’m reminded later. The scheduling desk folks are always so nice and patient, and they repeat my appointment times for me while also writing it down (especially when there’s multiple appointments that I just scheduled) to help me out.

I hope 2024 will be much more productive than 2023. Since I’ve been having a hard time recently with my health, I decided it’s something that I definitely want to focus on this year. I’ve read multiple books about ADHD and a couple productivity books in recent years that I believe has benefited me some. I probably need to do a reread at some point. Being a reader with ADHD can be rough, but it’s doable. And I love reading, which is why I started this blog initially. I wanted to spread my thoughts on the things that I’ve read, and I’ve done some decent essays or took extensive notes exploring my thoughts of what I’ve read.

While things can get rough and our lives don’t seem to get better, it’s okay to feel down, but I will be furiously happy out of sheer spite as Jenny Lawson might say. She, too, deals with chronic pain and mental health issues, and I can definitely relate as I’m sure others can too. This year has started off rough for a lot of people, but I wish everyone the best this upcoming year of the Dragon!

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Resources:

Burkeman, Oliver. Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals. Farrar, Straus and Giroux. 2021.

Hallowell, Edward. ADHD 2.0: New Science and Essential Strategies for Thriving with Distraction – From Childhood Through Adulthood. 2021.

Lawson, Jenny. Furiously Happy. Flatiron Books. 2015.